The Eulogy

One of the positive things to have happened to me in the weeks since the TD (terminal diagnosis) is my visit to my kinesiologist. He gave me some homework to be done between visits. I was to write a eulogy to be read at my funeral. The timeline that it should cover is from now until the end. “Go on some more adventures Allie,” he said encouragingly. This is what I wrote:-

‘We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of our beloved Allie, who always said her life really took off when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2014. The oncologists said that statistically she had 6-12 months to live if she didn’t take up their offer of an operation and chemo. She said she thought she could do a lot better than that with a homeopathic vet she had found. How could animals be accused of responding to the Placebo Effect she thought. The vet was very handsome, which she said made the 2 hour profiling interrogation a great pleasure.

It was at the local and very famous Cancer Care Centre that Allie found a friend with a similar diagnosis and an equally maverick approach to a solution. Together they set up a company called Tatty Bye Inc. and along with the vet set off for the Caribbean, where they spent some years crewing and cooking on board yachts. When the vet moved on to another project, Allie settled in St Lucia where she founded an orphanage for the street children.

When she was 83, with the diagnosis long forgotten, Allie returned to England, declaring that she was now retired. This was not the sort of retirement that her family and friends had envisaged for her. She was by now a vegan, doing yoga daily in her beloved park and gathering around her a colourful collection of young people interested in Huna, a magical practice she had picked up during her yachting trips to Polynesia.

At 89 she had a stroke and died suddenly while in the plank position. Her last words were those of her great hero Wittgenstein,”Tell them I had a wonderful life.”

I don’t think anyone present today would deny this.”


2 responses to “The Eulogy

  1. Allie’s amazing – keep on rocking!


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