An Ordered Universe

Many years ago when I wasn’t very well, I had an experience that took me to the very edge of the Universe. From that place I saw that it began again. That’s all I can say about it, it being an experiential event but I returned from it a changed woman. Now I live my days in balance. I am healthy, happy and free. My weltanschauung ( my interpretation of the world ) is a simple view that goes deep. I sense that everything teeters on a point of balance between yin and yang, and at that point all is health and happiness.

Before my journey into space I was always ill. I lay for hours on my bed, trying to clear the noise in my head, often with a cold flannel over my eyes, because of the thundering headache. I can’t remember when I last had a headache. If I wake to an out of sorts feeling I know it is because the unique principle has been compromised in some way. I restore the balance by cancelling all engagements and drinking hot water, honey and cider vinegar.

When I emerged from my place of despair into a place of hope, I noticed that I had developed a need for order. I have noticed a return to the desire for order since my flood and a strong sense that something has radically shifted in my life. I am finding that charity shops have suddenly lost their appeal for me and that I am taking a lot more in than out. I am starting to think it’s time for a major declutter. Is it Spring already?

People either believe that the world is infinite or they believe that it is finite. I am one of the former. The finite world is materialism. The infinite world is spiritual. What is happening in the papers and on the news is part of the finite world. It has the makings of a dream because in a hundred years time it will be as unreal as a faint memory or the squiggles on a page. Yet life in this finite realm brings the possibilities of both suffering and happiness. Life is for dancing, singing and the getting of wisdom. I am going to die and everyday, between now and then will be lived as if it is my last. I will use it to acquire wisdom, for that is my passport to and from the infinite world.

Through my creativity I hold the unfolding of a harmonious, global perpective. I try to present this perspective in an honest way. I do not live the life of a slave or a puppet. I do not live with blind faith. I am a woman who has travelled far into space and returned with the news that what is important is without end and beyond time. I know in my heart and live my days in the knowledge that the limited world of the relative and finite ‘real’ is actually conceived, fed and nourished by the eternal infinite and absolute. Only the debris of the finite world can block my view and keep me from the light that is my birthright.

As I arrived for my very last session with Dr Henck who had psychoanalysed me into wholeness, he was coming up out of the cellar with a bucket of building rubble, which he deposited in a skip outside the door. I remember thinking at the time what an appropriate image that was of our time together. And now my drain has been unblocked and the prospect of further flooding removed , I am planning the redecoration of my hallway and replacement of my carpet. Clearly more inner work has been done.

It seems that my acquisitive years are coming to an end. Only the real is meaningful now. My home will evolve into a calm, uncluttered place where I can rest within the order. Simplicity is the order of the day. I will hoard no more. What is eternal is all that counts. I always used to think that memories had to be triggered by objects. They don’t. As we are created from and within an all-powerful and all-knowing Matrix I have at my disposal access to the infinite nature of memory. Memory that existed before my conception and will continue after my death.


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