Like the stock market I trend upwards over time. I need to remember this in becalmed moments like these.
Giles is being very patient over in Paris where I fully intended to join him after Christmas, only to be overtaken by events; namely snow and Aunty Mu who has been poorly and at 98 in winter that’s serious. I hope Giles understands. Magazine work slows down in January and my silver fox may well be on the prowl. This worries me a lot less than it would have done in my youth. Age brings in its wake quite a few natural compensations. I’ll list some of them.
*Limited eyesight therefore fewer imperfections.
*Development of an inner eye which improves understanding.
*The exchange of ego for spirit.
*The realisation that painful feet are not compulsory. Eroticism can be comfortable when one relaxes,
*loss of hormonal fluctuations
*loss of competitive edge
*Closer connection with worlds beyond the material
*the discovery of the increasing joys of reflection.
I must however remember that invisibility does not mean I can sink into sartorial sluttishness. I have left home without suitable clothing for Aunty’s hothouse. Being here is like the opening scenes of The Big Sleep when Philip Marlowe interviews the bad girl’s father in a conservatory with the sweat pouring off him. I know how he felt. I have spent the last few days in a pair of leopard print pyjamas (note future blog on pyjamas I have loved) It is a look that perhaps the residents of this charming village don’t quite understand, especially when I add a faux fur gilet to nip over the road to the bunker to do my post. Maybe what I consider to be a stylish outfit looks louche in these parts. There, I can feel myself touching the edge of ego -it is steely and unpleasant. Who gives a toss about what you’re wearing Allie, I hear a prompt coming from the wings. That’s better.
For there are far more important things in life to reflect on than my impromtu wardrobe. The fact that I live in remarkable times being one of them. I need to be regularly reminded how very recently the world view changed. For hundreds of years our ancestors believed that they lived in an unkind or at least an uncaring void. Lost in space. In my lifetime there has been a steadily growing realisation that earth and its extraordinary treasure-a creature with consciousness- is part of a vaste and systematic whole. Laws created in its first moments give the whole a shape and although as individuals we take our chance, collectively we ‘map the mind of God’. To speak with the Divine all I have to do is drop my ego shield and become a part of the whole.
Jean-Claude came for supper a while ago and we spoke about the power of mind-altering drugs. This is not something I have ever experienced, mainly because a friend of mine got there before me and ended up in the middle of a main road convinced that he was a manhole cover. I vowed then never to go down that route and have ever since concentrated on mind- altering techniques that don’t require drugs. Jean-Claude is very clear about the journey one takes after slipping a tab of acid; how it opens a gate, he believes, that one walks through with ego in tact and there’s the rub.You are lucky to return from such a trip. Often people don’t as the psychic vertebrae fuses in such a way that nature never intended. Those who the gods love stay humble. Grandiosity and madness too often follow such a trip. In the days when knowledge was hidden it took 24 years of intense study as an initiate before one was prepared for such a trip. That’s 12 for the right brain and 12 for the left.
The streets of my university hometown are littered with the walking wounded;young people with psychic shields in tatters, all because they didn’t know how to delay gratification for the required time.The good news is that plenty of people are on explorative journeys at this time, but they do it as nature intended in groups, through sound, through channelling , through reflecting on crop formations. It is such an exciting time to be alive, why miss it by being ‘out of it’.