All over the globe I guess people are reflecting on the past year and resolving to do better next year. Is this the reason that my new blog got no hits at all today? I’m trying to work out why there was a dramatic spike in my stats the day I blogged about Google. Am forced to conclude that the reason I love the powerful G is that we share an important characteristic- narcissism. It was my couple counsellor Kitty who alerted me to this character defect . I say ‘my’ but on reflection it was in fact an ‘our’, though I can scarce remember who the other half of the couple was. But I haven’t forgotten Kitty, rough edged, motherly and blisteringly honest. If she had been a man I could have fallen I’m sure. I’ve always worked far too hard on my relationships and in spite of this they’ve all terminated (note I don’t say failed), possibly because of the aforementioned narcissism which boils down to an inflated sense of self-importance, and an insatiable need to be the centre of attention. That sounds like me- and Google for that matter. It is the result of a fragmented sense of self and the only real cure apparently is ‘an intense experience of delight or reassuring well- being that lies within.’ This information I found in The New York Times Book of Science, which fell into my hands in New York of all places- but that’s another story.
This afternoon while out walking I took a new route and happened upon a well- lit front room in rather a posh house. Ever nosy, I had a good gawp while wandering past and was struck by the two middle-aged people on separate sofas, miserably looking at a fluttering screen out of my line of vision. They were of course a man and a woman and I wondered what story might be told of their journey through marriage that has ended with them being marooned on twin sofas. To my way of thinking, the minute your spouse transfers beyond the reach of a touch or a cuddle it’s all over apart from the screaming and the slap of divorce papers. There is no isolation as intense or as painful as that of being alone in a couple. I speak from experience here, several of them in fact.
So I’m not surprised to read that there has been quite a flurry of excitement this Christmas on the mid-life Lezza front. Apparently Jeanette Winterston is now dating Susie Orbach, the psychologist and author of Fat is a Feminist Issue. Middle-aged women are leaving their male partners in droves, by all accounts, the minute the kids are off to college and they are leaving for a sort of x rated Malory Towers life, all mischevous and sexy.
Maybe that’s the answer, Allie. So where are they all, these gorgeous middle- aged women swinging both ways and up for a bit of fun? The only lesbians I know break wind freely and sport both studs and tattoos, which is not a look that I find much of a turn on, in either sex. I wonder if Kitty is gay- I never thought to ask at the time.